My nipple is on Facebook.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
