he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
