if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
