I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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