Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
