Christians are straight up FREAKS
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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