if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
