I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
