well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
