no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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