I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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