im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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