The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
