margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize