Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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