i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
