brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
