my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i've created a new STD.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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