I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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