"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
