That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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