I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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