my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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