You just made me feel so damn special
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
