girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
