i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sorry my hands just texted you
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
