He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
