google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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