what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
