Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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