Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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