So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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