My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize