Can Purell be used as lube?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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