I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
