I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
