I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize