you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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