So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
