You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do you still have your period?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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