it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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