he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
