I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
