Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
