he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
