Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize