grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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