I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
3 2 1 whiskey
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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