if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
