Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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