I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
