oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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