ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
