You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
