bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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