just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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