NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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