i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
even my farts smell like vagina
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Let's get the cat blown out
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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