Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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