im drinking this country out of the recession.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
