fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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