just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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