just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
