"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
