I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
