It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
