sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
