ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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